A good relationship is more than something we want—it’s something we need to be our happiest, healthiest, most productive selves. A recent 75-year long Harvard study indicates that our relationships are the most important element that impacts overall feelings of joy and happiness in life. But at home or work, supportive, fulfilling relationships don’t come automatically. They take an investment in time and energy as well as social skills that can be learned.
If you are lonely, experiencing conflict and/or dissatisfaction in your relationship with your spouse/partner there are steps you can take to repair this connection and build a meaningful, long-lasting, loving relationship together.
Intimacy and Attachment
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to your partner, about being able to let your guard down, and let him or her know how you really feel. Intimacy is also about being able to accept and share in your partner’s feelings, about being there when he/she wants to let their defense’s down.
To be able to share our ‘inner-world’ with a partner we love, and to be able to share our partner’s experiences, is one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship. Intimacy often doesn’t need words, but being able to put feelings and experiences into words makes intimacy more likely to occur.
The ability to have intimacy is often a reflection of our attachment patterns. By recognizing our attachment pattern we can understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met.
The attachment style you developed as a child doesn’t have to define your ways of relating to those you love in your adult life. If you come to know your attachment style, you can uncover ways you are defending yourself from getting close and being emotionally connected and work toward forming an “earned secure attachment.”
We understand how difficult and sometimes complicated relationships and intimacy can be. We are here to guide, support and empower you and your partner toward lasting change and commitment.
Email us today to set up your first appointment!