“What does mental illness look like?” This question was raised in my abnormal psychology class in college, raised but not answered. It wasn’t until I did my mandatory 250 hour internship junior year that I answered this question for myself. Of course I had learned about mental illness during this class, I learned about the symptoms, potential causes, diagnostic criteria and potential treatments; in short, I learned the book version of it. What I hadn’t done was partake in the treatment process with these individuals who were diagnosed as having severe mental illness, that is until I received my internship offer. I was to intern at the STIRS program, which stood for Southern Tier Integrated Recovery Services; it was a day treatment program for adults with severe and persistent mental illnesses, where they received group and Individual therapy, medications and meals. This was my chance, to see the real thing and do the real work to help people.
I was anxious and excited on my first day, and only partially prepared for the unknown of what I was walking into. Upon arrival, I met a couple friendly coworkers who said I could head back and jump right into a group that had already started. Sweating through my dress shirt already, I headed back nervously to the meeting room, and entered to find 8 adults in a small room, seated around two connected rectangular tables. I took my seat, greeting everyone quietly but in a friendly manner, and then I listened. As I listened, I slowly began to grow confused. “Am I in a staff meeting? …I thought I was going to be sitting in on a group,”… I silently reflected to myself. Little did I know then, I was in a group, surrounded by clients whom I mistook for staff.
In that moment, as a college junior, and psychology major, I could not distinguish between the staff person running that group, who was a trained psychiatric nurse, and the clients who were attending it. They dressed the same, spoke the same, smiled the same. And boom! My epiphany hit me so hard I almost fell out of my chair. People with mental illnesses really are no different than anyone else, we can’t tell them apart like so many of us wrongly assume and believe; I know this because I was one of those people holding false beliefs, and I will forever be glad I had the experience of sitting in that group my first day at my internship so that I could learn this lesson. I will also be forever glad for the relationships I built with those clients while I interned there.
The signs we see of mental illness are often not the illness at all, what we see are the signs of a struggle. Many of the clients I met at the group that day did struggle, they just did so more on the inside; the struggle becomes more visible on the outside when it gets so challenging and emotionally heavy for so long that they begin to have difficulty taking care of themselves. This, however, did not make them any less enjoyable to be around, or less worthy of being helped. So, the next time you hear or think, “What does mental illness look like?” I hope you remember this answer, because it will always be my answer when asked.
Written and submitted by Kara Fairchild, LMFT
