How to Stay Focused in Order to Achieve Peace of Mind

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression then the phrase “peace of mind” might sound like something from a fairytale.  But I can assure you that “peace of mind” really does exist. And not only that, it’s something that you can accomplish in your own life. Some people mistakenly believe that peace of mind is something that you only experience when things in your life are trouble-free, but that’s not true.

Peace of mind and focus go hand-in-hand. Therefore, when you learn how to stay focused and gain control of your thoughts, you are able to experience peace of mind. If you lack the ability to focus, it’s difficult to experience peace.  The more you develop this habit, the easier it will be to live in a state of constant peace.

What is peace of mind?

If you look up the phrase “peace of mind” on the Merriam Webster website it defines it as, “a feeling of being safe or protected”. However, I believe that the British definition found on collinsdictionary.com is more accurate, “the absence of worry”. It’s achieving a calm state of mind regardless of your situation and circumstances.

The most important step to achieving peace is to acknowledge the fact that you have control over your mind, including your thoughts and how you respond to others. If you refuse to take responsibility for your reactions to others than you will never live in peace. However, when you accept that you are in control of how you respond to people and situations you can begin to make progress in this area instead of living controlled by things that are happening around you.

Here are 7 tips to help you stay focused in order to experience peace of mind.

1. Learn to practice mindfulness meditation

If you have been leery of trying meditation because you aren’t “spiritual” then you should know that scientific studies are being conducted that back the benefits of meditation. One such example is the Cognitive Aging and Long-Term Maintenance of Attentional Improvements Following Meditation Training, published in the Journal of Cognitive Enhancement which states, “The present study is the first to offer evidence that intensive and continued meditation practice is associated with enduring improvements in sustained attention and response inhibition, with the potential to alter longitudinal trajectories of cognitive change across the lifespan.”

That’s fancy wording for basically saying that the study was promising in showing that doing meditation helps to improve your brain’s ability to focus now and in the future. While some people use meditation for spiritual purposes it doesn’t have to be used that way. The physical and emotional benefits are something that anyone can benefit from.

Mindfulness meditation teaches you how to be present in the moment. This allows you to push out the worrying and nagging thoughts that creep into your mind. It helps you take control of anxiety and stress. This allows you to experience peace even if things in life aren’t perfect. And, the physical benefits are numerous. You can read more about the benefits of mediation in my blog post How Practicing Mindfulness Can Change Your Life.

2. Limit your use of social media

There are things that are good about social media, but there are also lots of studies that show the ways that it can be harmful to the mental health of its users. The use of social media tends to cause us to compare the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives with the highlight reel that friends and family are sharing. The messy parts of your life are never going to compare with the highlights that other people are sharing. Therefore, if you are struggling with peace and constantly find yourself comparing yourself to others on social media it can be best to stay off the platforms.

Social media is also a distraction. It feeds our FOMO (fear of missing out) craving. With access to social media on our phones, it’s easy to be tempted into stopping what you are trying to work on or think about in order to “check” what’s going on with friends and family.

3. Let go of the past

Getting hung up on the things that have happened in the past make it difficult to stay focused on the present and the future. Focusing our attention on things that we cannot change makes it difficult to maintain peace of mind. If there is something from the past that you can correct, then do it. Otherwise, it’s time to forgive others, forgive yourself, and move on.

4. Believe the best in others

It is much easier to maintain peace of mind when you let things roll off your back. If often see the actions of others as a personal insult or assault, you will remain in a constant state of frustration. Your thoughts will feel out of control and you will quickly lose your peace. However, if you focus on believing the best in others you are shifting your thoughts which will make finding peace much easier.

5. Choose your battles carefully

If you make it your personal mission to correct everyone that is doing something you don’t agree with you are going to live in a constant state of strife. And, it will be near impossible to keep your mind focused on what you want to focus on. Just like parents are taught to choose their battles with their children, you want to do the same thing with the people and situations you face daily.

For example, you might not agree with a conversation that is happening between your coworker and your boss, but if you are not part of the conversation it’s best to stay out of it. If you choose to involve yourself you could be putting yourself in a position of choosing sides, putting your job at risk, and adding stress that you don’t want in your life.

6. Make time to journal

Journaling is a great way to release those thoughts that are bogging down your mind. You can write out your stresses and worries and then once they are out of your head, release them altogether. Some people like to rip up or burn the paper as a symbolic way of showing that they are letting go of those thoughts.

Journaling also helps you to process through situations and see things in a different light. Take the time to write about your day, learn from it, and move on from it.

7. Incorporate times of silence and solitude into your schedule

Constantly being in the hustle and bustle of life is a sure-fire way to lose peace of mind and focus. This doesn’t mean that you should avoid people at all costs, however, taking time to get away from everyone else and be in total silence can help you to reconnect with yourself. If you find that you have lost all peace, you might need to take a solitude retreat. You could get away for a weekend alone or simply an afternoon. Find a quiet place to retreat to. Allow yourself to think about the thoughts that have been rolling around in your head. Then, decide how to deal with those thoughts. Allow yourself to recharge during this time.

Sometimes it can be difficult to realize what we are thinking and how those thoughts are impacting us. If you are struggling to obtain peace of mind you could benefit from a conversation with a local therapist. They know the right questions to ask to help you get to the root of your struggle. Then, they can provide you with actionable steps to help you find and live in peace.

The Joys of Solitude and the Power of Silence

Our world is a busy place these days. There is hustle and bustle everywhere you turn. And, for many, it’s only going to get busier now that we are in the holiday season. There are work parties and family get-togethers, parades, concerts, cookie exchanges, and the list goes on. Even when you aren’t physically with people it can be difficult to find solitude and quiet. With modern technology, we can stay connected to others at all hours of the day. By simply logging on to social media we can have hundreds of “friends” at our fingertips and plenty of ways to connect with strangers too. But, is that really what we need?

The joy of solitude

Solitude isn’t a word that we hear used very often in the modern world. The definition according to dictionary.com is, “the state of being or living alone; seclusion; remoteness from habitations; absence of human activity; a lonely, unfrequented place”.

When you read that definition, you may think that solitude is a bad thing. Society trains us to think that we should always be connected to others and that being alone is bad. But, there is a lot of joy that can come from intentional solitude.

Benefits of solitude

There are actually many benefits to solitude in your life.

• You experience increased creativity. When you are able to escape from the “noise” of life and the opinions of others you are able to tap into your inner self. This allows you to connect with yourself and process through your ideas. It can bring out a level of creativity that you most likely wouldn’t experience if you never take the time to be alone.

• You learn more about yourself. When you are always around other people it’s easy to make their preferences your preferences. The more time you spend with someone the easier it is to become like them. That’s why it’s important that you have time alone with yourself, so you can stay in touch with who you are, what you believe, and what you like. Decisions that you make when you are alone won’t be as easily influenced by other people in your life.

• Your mind has a chance to rest. When you are with others you constantly have to be “on”. It can be exhausting, but if you are used to always being with others you may not even notice how tired it actually makes you. Solitude provides your mind a chance to relax and reboot.

• You appreciate your relationships more. There is some truth to that old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” When you are better in touch with yourself it makes you better for those that you are in a relationship with as well. And, if you are used to always being together a little time alone can remind you of how much you enjoy the time with that person.

The power of silence

Think for a minute about what complete silence sounds like. Imagine that you are standing out in the middle of a wide-open field on a day when there is no wind or even slight breeze to blow the grass. You are so far from society that you can’t hear a car, a voice, a phone notification, and there are no planes overhead. It is completely and utterly silent.

I don’t think we realize how noisy our world really is. We are used to our phones making noises, the television being on, and hearing the neighbor’s car as it pulls in their driveway. Even if we are home alone there are noises that can distract us. Not many of us live in a place like described above where we can experience complete silence, but there are still plenty of ways to find silence in our daily lives and there is a lot of power in doing so.

I touched a little on what makes silence so powerful above because solitude and silence often come hand in hand. Silence from the outside world allows you to touch base with yourself internally. It provides you the chance to hear your inner thoughts and not be distracted away from your own desires. Silence allows you to experience a deeper level of thinking. When you know that there isn’t another person that is going to interrupt or a text message that is going to come in, you can allow your mind to think to a deeper level.

Silence also allows you to get in touch with your body and health. When you shut out the noise of the world around you then you can start to “hear” what’s going on inside of you. You will be able to notice how events are impacting your mental health and physical health.

How to find solitude and silence in the modern world

Finding time to escape alone and experience solitude and silence might feel impossible in this busy world, but if you are intentional it can be done. If your schedule and budget allow, you could go away for a weekend alone to a quiet destination. But, there are other ways you can experience this in smaller portions:

• Go hiking alone at a local park. Look for a quiet place away from others to sit alone for a while. You can even spend a little time practicing mindfulness meditation while you are away.

• Wake up an hour earlier or stay up an hour later than the other members of your house. If you live in a full house or have kids that depend on you each day it’s hard to get away. Look for time with others are sleeping that you can be awake, alone, and sit in silence.

• Spend your lunch break alone. If you work in a crowded office space it can be difficult to find a place to sit alone. Consider taking your lunch break out in your car on nice days. You can sit silently and escape the hustle and bustle of the office and regain inner peace before heading back in to finish the day.

• Go on a retreat. This isn’t something you would do on a daily basis but consider going on an annual solitude and silent retreat. There are many that you can choose from around the country.

Studies have found that those who are comfortable being alone with themselves in silence are happier overall and have better mental health. This is a learned skill that might not come easily to you even though it sounds like it should. If you have questions or find that you struggle with your inner thoughts when you are alone, reach out to a local therapist to get to the root of the problem.