Ways that Compassion Can Help You Support a Loved One Suffering from Addiction

It can often be difficult knowing how to navigate a relationship that is tainted by addiction. Often, loved ones are told that helping an addict means creating codependency, and that the best thing to do is show some “tough love,” even if that means walking away.

But is this really true?

Is there a better way to relate to a friend or family member who is struggling with addiction? Is there a form of love besides “tough love” that can help us help our loved ones?

Recent research has found that loved ones can play an important role in an addict’s recovery. While loved ones can’t change their addicted friend or family member, there are things they can change about themselves that will benefit the relationship.

The most significant thing a person can do is to become more compassionate toward their loved one struggling with addiction. Compassion is key to recovery as it allows a person to love a friend or family member without condoning (enabling) their behavior.

Why Compassion is so Powerful in Recovery

When we offer a loved one genuine compassion, we voluntarily join them in their suffering and give them profound gifts that can be catalysts toward real healing and recovery.

Being compassionate means:

We See Them

Compassion allows us to really see our loved one and the suffering they are going through.

We Hear Them

All humans need to be heard, but those with substance abuse issues often feel they go unheard. Compassion allows us to talk less and listen more.

We Validate Them

To see and to hear are not enough, we must also let our loved ones know they have a right to express their pain, anger, sadness, or any other emotion they are feeling. Too often, friends and family members ignore or minimize their loved one’s suffering. Compassionate helps us validate the person.

We Comfort Them

Whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional pain, sufferers need to be comforted. Compassion guides us and helps us provide our loved ones with comfort through a loving touch, knowing glance, or a few kinds words.

It is also incredibly important to be compassionate toward yourself during your loved one’s recovery. Self-compassion asks that we treat ourselves kindly; that we see, hear, validate and show ourselves the same comfort we show our loved one. 

If you or a loved one is suffering with addiction and interested in exploring treatment, please contact us today. We would be happy to speak with you about how we may be able to help.

Living a Valued Life: 5 Steps to Clarify Your Values

Your life is important. We all have moments of doubt and fear that can make us feel small, inferior and unworthy. These thoughts do not control us and they have no power over us. We can choose to live a valued and purposeful life that has meaning and invigorates our spirit. Here are some steps that you can take right now to live in accordance with your values, goals and dreams.

What does it mean to live a valued life? Values are the beliefs and standards we choose to live by. Our values dictate how we choose to act and respond in the world. When we define our values, we are describing how our lives would be most meaningful to us. How will you define your life direction? What do you want to stand for? It is important to clarify exactly what you are working towards. By choosing the direction of your life, you can act on what really matters to you.

Once you’ve got a few ideas of how you want to grow and move forward, you can start moving toward achieving these goals and values.

Describe your ideal moment: Whether it’s getting the promotion, reaching a certain point in your health journey, getting a certain task done describe it. Go into the smallest details and describe it for at least 3 minutes. If you’re more comfortable writing about it, do that. The goal here is to get in touch with the things that make this moment important and what you feel about this moment.

What parts about that important moment stand out? What parts do you include?: Are there certain parts of this description that you keep coming back to? What parts feel the strongest in terms of the details? These things that are standing out to you are telling you why this goal matters so much to you, and these details will keep you moving forward even on the hard days when you need energy to keep it all moving properly.

 Why are these things important to you – why do they matter and what is your motivation? Take the focus points that you mentioned – the ones that feel the strongest – and understand why they are important. Write descriptions for each point that you pull out. It could be the way it makes you feel, what it will mean for your future, anything. You’ll understand the importance of this ideas and this will keep you moving towards it. It will help you get the focus to go after those important goals you have identified.

Keep reminding yourself of these values and the moment you are working toward: Now that you’ve got a clear picture of what you are working towards, you need to remind yourself of that as much as possible. Understand why it means so much to you and what, exactly it means for you to be able to meet those goals. If you need to, make an image that reminds you of that happiness that is waiting for you, and put it on your fridge, on your wall, on your phone, whatever. Just keep remembering why it matters so much to you!

Always work toward it: We all have weak moments where we want to give up and quit. Take a deep breath, re-energize yourself with that description and/or the photo that you keep around, and move into your bright future. You’ll be able to understand why it matters so much to you after a few minutes of work, and you’ll be able to get back on track and tackle that part of your life that is waiting for you.

There is no definition in a general sense of what value is, so each person’s ideal goals and descriptions are going to be unique.  Rely on your own list and goals and use that to help propel you forward.  It might seem too easy to work in terms of motivating you, but this forces you to get in touch with those important emotions, and you’ll feel the energy before too long.

Five Steps to Move Out of Fear and Into Your Life

What is stopping you from achieving your goals in life? There are lots of things that may hinder you from taking the action required to make changes in your life. Fear can be one of those hurdles that continues to limit us from scaling greater heights. Fortunately, fear is a normal occurrence and it depends on your ability to move out of it in order to become what you have always wanted to be.

Fear is the sign of a window of opportunity. When you move closer to your dreams, you can rest assured that you will encounter fear. It is because of fear that you stop telling your truth and expressing who you really are. It then becomes challenging to move forward. However, did you know that you can move out of fear and into your life?

The journey towards overcoming fear and living authentically will certainly start with a single step and as you move forward, you will be able to reap the benefits of leading an empowered life. Although overcoming your fear might seem impossible, it can be done if you are willing to do what it takes. Be sure to identify your unique fears before embarking on this journey. When you have a better sense and appreciation for what you are afraid of your journey will be easier to navigate. Here is an overview on how to go about the process of overcoming your fear.

Start with small steps

Before you can be able to handle tasks that instill great fear in you, you might consider starting with smaller tasks that are not very demanding. The intensity of fear that overcomes you is determined by the magnitude of responsibility you are expected to handle. By gradually facing your fears and the anxiety that comes with them, you will create a growing sense of resiliency and self-confidence.

Be real and authentic

We live in a world where we compare our lives to that of others. As a result, people become more uncertain of themselves and in their direction in life. Fear can paralyze us and while life is moving and constantly changing we can get left behind.

Know who you are…your passions, purpose, dreams, goals and special gifts. Your authenticity will enable you to make the bold decisions that will define you and ultimately nurture your well-being.

Build positive thoughts

Bearing negative thoughts is one major cause of fear. You are afraid that your plans may not go as expected. Instead, channel your energy towards thinking about how you will achieve your goals and what steps to take in order to achieve them. Fear can lead you to throw in the towel even before you have started your journey.

Live in the present

Your thoughts should only be concentrated on what you are doing now. Thinking about the past will only discourage you whereas thinking about the future will make you more anxious. Avoid dwelling on your past mistakes or even thinking about the mistakes you might make in the future. Making mistakes is inevitable on your journey to success. Focusing on the mistakes of the past, however, will only serve to draw energy away from the action required to succeed in the moment.

Practice self-compassion

Moving through fear will allow a clearing to appear in your life. A place to safely and comfortably explore your authenticity, passions and relationships. A new self-confidence will emerge as you smile at fear and allow yourself the loving kindness you deserve. It is with the practice of self-compassion that fear will retreat.

Fear is an inevitable and integral part of life. Fear will uncover your vulnerabilities and often make one feel small and “play it safe”. Instead, rebalance your perspective by allowing the compassion of others and your own words of self-encouragement be heard. Moving away from fear takes practice. There is great joy and confidence to be uncovered within us all.