Holiday Stress: 5 Tips to Manage It This Year

It seems like the holiday season starts earlier and earlier every year. Once September hits the aisles throughout stores become an odd mix of decorations for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all at once. Then November 1st rolls around and homes become a mix of pilgrims and pumpkin spice with Christmas trees and Jingle Bells. Along with the decorations, there seems to come am an expectation that everyone should be happy and overjoyed during the holidays. But, for many, this isn’t the case because “the most wonderful time of the year” brings with it a lot of holiday stress. If this is you, you don’t need to let the stress of the season steal your joy.

Holiday stress management tips

1. Get and stay organized

Life is already busy for most people but during the holidays it hits a new level. There are holiday parties, cookie swaps, presents to buy, cards to send, and school concerts to attend. And, along with all of that, your normal life and work responsibilities still need to be handled. With so many things going on at once, it’s easy to have something accidentally fall through the cracks.

Spend five minutes sitting down with pen and paper and do a massive brain dump. Write down every to-do that is on your mind, ingredient that needs to be bought, and event that you can’t forget to attend. Get it all in one place and then start sorting it out. Create a grocery shopping list, present shopping list, event list, and to-do list.

Once you have your lists, find a way to store them that will be easy for you to check on a regular basis. You could put the list in your purse or wallet or choose an app to use. A few effective apps to choose from include, Evernote, Asana, and Cozi. You can even add the lists to one of these apps and share it with other members of your family to easily divvy up the responsibilities.

Make sure that you enter any important dates and reminders into your calendar. Schedule time to go shopping, bake cookies, and wrap the presents. And, don’t forget to schedule time for self-care (check out #5 for more details).

2. Take control of your budget

If you are feeling stressed over your finances this holiday season many people can identify with you. A study by creditcard.com found that of those surveyed, 65% were losing sleep over their finances. And, the holidays tend to bring added expenses. Here are a few ways to take control of your holiday spending:

• Create a holiday budget for presents and don’t allow yourself to go over it.

• Don’t forget the little things. Presents aren’t the only added expense this time of year. Make sure you budget for things like a Christmas tree if you buy a live one, a larger grocery budget, gift wrap, and travel if you will be visiting family.

• Start shopping early. If you wait until the last minute you will be paying last minute prices and have a limited selection to choose from.

• Don’t get caught up in the deals. It’s easy this time of year to overspend because you think you are getting a deal. Before you buy anything, comparison shop the price (there are apps to make it easy), make sure it’s something you need, and that you have the budget for it. “Buy 2 Get 1 free” is not a good deal if you don’t really need two of those items. And, the best deals aren’t always found on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Don’t feel bullied into having to buy.

3. Be mindful

Being mindful is simply the act of purposefully filling your mind with something positive or neutral so you don’t allow room for the negative and stressful thoughts. When your mind starts running and you feel your blood pressure starting to rise, shift your mind to something else. It could be the thought of sitting on a beautiful beach in the warm sunshine feeling the sand between your toes while you listen to the lapping waves on the shore or the happy faces of your excited children shining in the lights of the Christmas tree. It’s up to you to actively choose what works for you.

You can also use mindfulness to stay present in the current moment. For example, instead of stressing over your growing to-do list as you attend a holiday party fill your thoughts with what you are currently doing. Take in the smiling faces all around you, listen to the sounds of laughing and holiday music while smelling the freshly baked sweets. Let your senses go to work for you in helping you shift your focus from your stress to what you could be enjoying now.

4. Set boundaries

It’s ok to admit that you are only one person and can’t do it all. In fact, it’s good for your mental health to come to grips with this fact. You don’t have to attend every event, bake every treat, and volunteer every time you are asked this holiday season. Start early by establishing boundaries for yourself. Decide where you need to draw the line and then don’t be afraid to say “No” when the activity or event doesn’t line up with what fits within your boundaries.

Here are a few things to remember:

• Your to-do list doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s list. If you decided that you don’t want to participate in any cookie swaps this year because you don’t want to add the extra stress of baking 5 dozen cookies, then you don’t have to. Simply explain that you aren’t doing extra baking this year, or don’t give a reason at all. You don’t need to provide reasons to others on why you are saying no.

• Someone else’s lack of planning is not your emergency. If you are the go-to person that always swoops in last minute to save everyone else from their own mistakes let them know early that you aren’t doing it this year. Then, stick to it. You don’t need to drop your own plans to help someone else that wasn’t properly prepared.

5. Practice self-care

If you’re looking for how to relieve stress this holiday season, then self-care is where you need to focus. Don’t let your busy schedule break your normal routine. If you run yourself ragged, you will be too tired to enjoy the events you are working so hard for.

• Stay active. Exercise is a great way to reduce holiday stress. Look for ways to stay active whether it’s a power walk around the mall or squeezing in a short workout in the morning. Exercise gives you an outlet for stress and releases all those mood-boosting endorphins. It can also help you get better rest at night.

• Watch what you’re eating. Loading up on sugary treats throughout the season can be difficult on your system. I’m not saying don’t allow yourself to enjoy what the season has to offer, but make sure you are getting the food your body needs as well. This also helps you avoid the sugar crash that comes with overindulging on sweets and the guilt that comes along with it.

• Schedule me-time. It’s important that you set aside time to rest during the holiday season. Plan out times to do things that help you recharge.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

It’s ok to ask for help this holiday season. This could be help with your ever-growing to-do list or just help for yourself.  If you are experiencing grief, depression, anger, or just going through a rough time in life you might not feel full of joy like you “think” you should. Find a trusted family member or friend that you can confide in, or, contact a therapist in your area.

Don’t allow the stress of the season to steal your joy. If you don’t accomplish everything you thought you were going to, it’s okay. We spend so much time trying to stress to children the real reason for the holidays and sometimes we need to give ourselves the same reminder.

Managing Your Grief This Holiday Season

According to our favorite holiday movies and books we should be serene, happy and peaceful throughout the holidays. This is rarely the case, however, for those who may be grieving the loss of a loved one. Holidays are hard when you are consumed with grief, no matter how long ago you experienced your loss.

We all experience grief differently and there is no right way to do it. The same is true for coping with a loss. How one person manages may not be the same as the next. The key to grief is patience and compassion. Grief can make often make us feel lost and confused.

Here are some suggestions on how to manage your grief so that you can acknowledge what you are feeling, but also make sure that you enjoy the holidays to the fullest.

• Set limits for yourself: Grieving requires energy so slow down and take the opportunity to rest and recover a bit more often than usual. Don’t be afraid to say “no” and to prioritize your mental and emotional health as much as possible. Do only those things that mean the most to you and conserve your energy.

• Plan your schedule ahead of time: When it comes to putting everything together for the holidays, you will want to have a plan. A plan for gift giving, holiday events, food preparation, work responsibilities and self care will keep you calm and give you a better sense of control. When you have intense or difficult emotions, you will be able to rely on the schedule to keep things on track without feeling overwhelmed.

• Honor your loved one: When you lose someone, you don’t have to forget them and the things that you shared. If you had traditions or holiday memories that you want to keep going after they’re gone, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You will be able to show your respect and love for them by honoring your loved one as well as their memory through continuing with these traditions.

• Create new traditions: There is nothing wrong with starting a new chapter in your life, especially around the holidays. Your new traditions are a positive and healthy way to manage and understand your grief in an approachable way. These new ways of celebrating the season will help you stay in the moment and experience this time of year with a renewed sense of purpose and joy.

• Allow and accept your emotions: When you are dealing with something as big as grief, you can’t keep it bottled up during the holidays. It’s easy to want to do that and you may feel as if you must always be cheerful, but remember that holidays are meant for emotion. Sharing your grief in a meaningful way is part of connecting to loved ones. They will appreciate your honesty and you won’t be alone with your feelings.

• Accept your grief and be mindful of the present: When we have the willingness to accept our struggles those struggles can lose their power. The final stage of grief is known as acceptance. Acceptance will allow you to see your new reality and how it impacts your life and relationships. Acceptance sees that life continues and is never the same. It is enriched by your loved one’s presence and encourages hope.

The holidays can be an emotional time of year, but you don’t have to go through them alone.  Share what you feel with those around you, and make the holiday season a happy time by relying on a plan and taking the time that you need to comfort and take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to stick to old traditions and create new ones. Be present and willing to experience the hope and joy that the season can bring.

Managing Anxiety Around the Holidays: 6 Tips for Inner Peace

It’s that time of year! Our anxiety levels almost always rise around the holidays. You want to get everyone the perfect gifts, you want to plan the perfect holiday meals and events, you want to decorate your home, you love sending out holiday cards, you have several holiday parties to attend and prepare for and you want to see your loved ones feel the joy of the season. It is overwhelming even for the best of planners.  If you are looking to make sure that you manage this time of year with grace and less chaos, here are 6 tips to help you do just that.

1. Take some “you” time: Whether you are managing a large holiday event or a small family dinner, don’t be afraid to take some time just for you. Take an extra yoga class, meet a friend for coffee or lunch, go for a walk or hike, get a massage, meditate in your favorite place or just go to the movies by yourself. Do something that is all about you and be mindful about how wonderful and healing it is.

2. Make a list: Much of our anxiety that comes during the holiday season results from just how much there is to do and how difficult it is to get everything done on time. Making lists and a plan of action ahead of time will help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed. It might be helpful to make an overall list of things to accomplish as well as daily lists of to-dos. Create those gift lists now to avoid the panic that comes with last minute shopping!

3. Shop early and wisely: When it comes to holiday shopping, don’t leave it to the last minute. Try spreading out your shopping so that you can get it done a bit at a time. Do some (or all) of your shopping online. This eliminates the stress of traffic, lines and carrying packages. Grab a cup of tea, soft blanket and your laptop for an evening of stress-free shopping.

4. Say “no”: If there are certain things about the holiday season that you don’t want to do, then just say “no”. While there are certain things you might not be able to avoid, try to stay away from any major stressors that are going to have a negative impact on you and your wellness. There may be things we think we need to do that are not necessary. Do you really need to send out 100 holiday cards this year? Do you really need to attend every work party or activity at your child’s school or in the community? It’s important to think of quality moments rather than quantity. Where do you want to spend your energy the most?

5. Be mindful: Being mindful is one of the best ways to curb your anxiety about the holidays. Stay present when you drive, eat, celebrate with friends, and even when you’re decorating your home. Just be present for every part of the holiday season, and you’ll find it much more enjoyable without a doubt. This also makes the holiday season much more memorable for yourself as well as your loved ones.

6. Do what makes you happy: The holidays are for enjoying time with loved ones, so take the time to plan pleasant activities. Have a quiet evening in watching your favorite holiday movies, go out for a drive with hot chocolate and enjoy the sights and sounds of the season, bake cookies with your little ones or enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with a close friend. Do what makes you happy and create positive and relaxing experiences that will ultimately energize your mind, body and spirit.

The harsh reality is that none of these is going to omit holiday stress entirely, but these 6 tips will help reduce the anxiety of the season, create more mindful experiences and help you get everything you need to do accomplished without the chaos you might typically experience every year. By creating more inner peace you will be ready to tackle your holiday season with grace while creating the energy you need to thrive not just survive!